Pinku-Enchanted Life

Sujata checked the time yet again, yes it was time for her to leave Sunaina's three children were peacefully sleeping unaware of her plans.  She pondered yet again whether she should wake up the eldest and tell her about her trip but then decided against it. The Ayah would do the needful and also keep an eye on them till she returned.  Decision made she moved with quick quiet strides to the side gate of the bungalow where a taxi awaited her. The drive to the airport and the flight went in a haze and later she couldn't remember much of it.  It was as if some other force were driving her.  She came awake once the Delhi taxi started climbing the Himalayas. She pictured Deekshas happiness yet again on unexpectedly seeing her mom and wondered what her daughter would have to say about her plans.  The taxi reached the town sometime after nine. Almost midnight by hill standards. She chose an unassuming hotel for her stay and registered under her maiden name.  The n...

The man stood smoking against the pillar of the bus stop. His new shoe pinched a bit but he kept it on. He saw himself reflected in the tinted glass of a passing vehicle and marveled again at the difference a shave had made to his appearance. He had to be patient he told himself; last week’s disappointment must not dissuade him. He looked around, it was much the same scene, the old woman selling agarbattis in the corner, the sweeper who having finished his morning shift was waiting or perhaps whiling away time by sunning himself and the passing honking traffic and a few people trying to get a lift. At long last he saw the bus coming, it took the last turn and came to a halt right next to him. The girls spilled out laughing and chattering. This weekly outing was the highlight of their life in the residential school. Pocket money was hoarded for this time when they would be able to buy that yummy pastry at Aunty’s store or pick up delicacies at the neighbouring store which stocked e...

Sunaina stood looking out at the fields for a long time. Her three children were huddled close to each other behind her on the floor. The quilt barely enough to cover their growing bodies. The money lender was due to come again today to collect his dues; she had hoped that by some miracle she would be able to collect enough money to atleast pay the interest but try as she might she couldn’t arrange enough half the amount. The moneylender had clearly indicated last time that he wouldn’t take no for an answer anymore, it would have to be either the money or her next time. She had tried her best to repay the debts, pawning the last bit of jewellery she owned even the little that had been gifted to her children but the loan seemed unending. A loan which had gone to fuel Inder’s drinking and gambling and which she now had to pay back with her honour. The ignominy of it ran shivers down her spine. The sudden flash of inspiration brought her to life. She looked again to check that th...

Sujata felt excited, Amit was returning from his business trip today. She fussed about in the kitchen, a place she seldom visited. Her recent visits to her village had reminded her of all the delicious stuff that her grandmother used to cook up with simple vegetables and she had decided she would make some of that for Amit. His trip this time had been exceptionally long. Almost a month and she imagined that he would be craving simple home cooked food. She checked her watch yet again….she needed to hurry to be able to take a bath before he came. Sujata often wondered about her relationship with Amit. Her own feelings puzzled her. The only two occasions she could remember when Amit had held her really close were during her labor pains and two months back when they had both rushed to Mussourie on being informed that Deeksha was being followed by an unknown man. That was also something she was curious to know about. Amit had been receiving regular updates from the detective agency t...

Amit got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, he was about to pick up his robe when the memory of last night came flooding back and he left it on the floor. Refreshed, he moved towards the electric kettle on the side board he wanted to fix himself and his companion a nice cup of tea. It was only at times like these that he ever bothered to do these small homely acts; it gave him a strange sense of relaxation and peace. In the other world he inhabited he was the lord and master and it was unthinkable that he do anything himself, there were always a retinue of servants to do his bidding. But times like now were too personal and intimate to allow for a third to intrude. He surveyed the messy bed yet again; his companion was still sleeping, hand thrown over eyes to shield against the light. Amit drew the curtains completely aside allowing the sun to come through and brighten up the room. He felt strangely young and full of exuberance though nothing in his measured walk and action wo...

The phone call came just as she was dropping off to sleep. Initially the ring of the cell phone sounded far off and she thought she was dreaming but then the sound became more persistent and she realized with a start that it was her cell phone ringing. The number was unfamiliar and for a moment the events of the past twenty four hours came flooding back. The midnight flight to Delhi and then the long journey to and fro to her daughter’s residential school in the hills. Amit had an important meeting to attend and that meant that they immediately take a flight back to Bombay as well. The ringing was becoming shrill and she finally picked up the call. The road was bumpier than she remembered, the recent rains must have caused havoc or perhaps bereft of the sweet nostalgia of her last journey it seemed more tedious. Her nerves were on edges. She couldn’t remember the last time she had traveled so much in so little time. Perhaps in the days when she had been a part of the troupe and ...

The party was in full swing, as the wannabes tried to ingratiate themselves with those who had already achieved. Sujata held onto her glass of orange juice and looked around for Amit. He had excused himself to take a call on his mobile and had not returned ever since. She wondered slightly who the call would have been from. Normally Amit didn’t take calls when out for social evenings. Her anxiety to find him had a bit of curiosity however the chief concern was not to be cornered by an acquaintance without Amit, who knew all the correct polite answers to the questions those people asked. She wandered on the edges of the party, looking unconcerned and yet keeping an eye out for Amit. Finally she spotted him under a tree, intently talking on the phone. As she watched she felt a twinge of jealousy for all that kept Amit occupied and his life so purposeful. Her own life in comparison seemed so goal-less. Amit finally kept the phone and looked around; he saw her at a distance and be...

Not a fortnight passed when Sunaina realized that the smell of money travels a long distance. Her husband who had been missing for months returned home one evening. It was clear that he knew of Sujata’s visit and the fact that she had left money and provisions with his wife. Sunaina and the children both cringed inwardly on seeing him. They knew drunken brawls and the beatings would now be the norm. Sunaina thought hard of what to do with the money that Sujata had left behind, she had no doubts that it was for this money that her husband had returned home and once he could lay his hands on the same he would disappear again. The children quickly hid their new clothes; experience taught them to hide everything from their father. The youngest one was the only one unafraid largely because also inexperienced. She crawled to him and sat close looking up at him wonderingly. It wasn’t often she saw a new face in the house. She was rewarded with a pat on the head and then her father walked...

The return journey went in a daze. Sujata was happy to have been able to help her friend and also a little apprehensive about lying about the dream. The fact that she had to use her daughter and God as an excuse goaded her. For the umpteenth time she consoled herself that the Lord after all knew that she had used his name only for a good cause. Before she knew, the familiar arrogant gates of the bungalow were there before her. they opened almost automatically, the guards having spotted her car at a distance and she was engulfed once again in the beautiful, lifeless existence she called life. Amit came home a little early; he gave himself a few reasons for this unusual behavior. He felt he wasn’t feeling well but couldn’t locate what exactly was the problem. Then he rationalized it by thinking he needed to pack for his trip the next day, which wasn’t true since he never packed, the servants did the needful supervised by Sujata. 'Ah Sujata! She would be home by now'. This ...

Sujata stared at Sunaina, she had pictured her in many ways but the reality brought a lump to her throat. Sunaina’s once beautiful hair now had streaks of grey and it had lost its sheen. Her hands and feet were calloused from working constantly in the fields and then at home. Even her saree had a tear which she had tried best to hide, and this was her best saree. The children had said so to Sujata. Sunaina was sleeping peacefully, they had gossiped till late after Sujata said that she was not hungry. Sunaina had secretly sighed in relief which had not escaped her friend. Their chat had revolved around the various acquaintances of their childhood. Every time Sujata had tried to bring the discussion back to Sunaina, she had been met with a silent wall and a quick changing of topic. She knew her friend was in trouble but how was one to help without knowing what exactly the ailment was. She got up stealthily and went into the kitchen; walking on tiptoes she checked the near empty rice...

Sunaina looked out at the pouring rain and felt the elation she had felt for the past two days draining away. No one would be able to travel in this torrent she thought, not even Sujata with her rock strong will. Two days ago when the telegram had arrived saying that Sujata was coming down to meet her she had not believed her eyes. Though they had been planning this visit over their letters for the past three months it seemed unbelievable that it would actually happen. Once it sank in, she had got into a frenzy trying to make her small home look its best. She had taken down all curtains and linen to the river for a rigorous wash. The kitchen had been cleaned and the soot which had collected over years was scrubbed away in a matter of hours. The children had looked on bewildered as their mother who normally cursed under her breathe while she went about the daily grind was actually heard humming an old hindi film song. Now all that seemed a waste, since the rain looked like it wou...

The rain fell incessantly; mercilessly…it threatened to wash away everything with it. Nothing but nothing would stand in its way as the torrents that poured from the skies rushed on their way to meet the river and then on to the sea. The stranded car rocked slightly from time to time as it tried to keep its hold on the fast receding ground. The driver once again came to her window to urge her to go back but seeing her determined face went back to his place under the bonnet. She almost didn’t notice him though a part of her brain did register the movement. She was lost in thought. She remembered her mother’s wet smiling face as they had run from the fields to the house hand in hand, hurrying to collect the drying papads, pickles and other assorted masalas spread out in the courtyard before the rains spoiled them. That funnily was the only memory she had of that fateful night that swept away her parents and her childish innocence with it. She had heard her grandmother’s version ...

Dear Sunaina, Am hoping this note finds you in good health and spirits and not too surprised at seeing a letter from me who must have passed into the realms of mere memories. I am sorry I had to disappear without notice and didn’t have the time to even inform you about my plans before leaving. But even as time has flown like water under a bridge I have never forgotten you and at every turn in my life I have mentally checked back as to how you would have viewed my decisions and actions. Since childhood you have been my conscience keeper and it was a pain to keep my plans to myself before I left home and then not to touchbase with you once I had gone away, knowing that your concern for my well being will make you share my details with my family. They would have lost no time in dragging me back to that quagmire which I had escaped. Its been so many years and I can finally be in touch again. There is so much to tell you and so much to ask after. Your son whom I had seen last as a toddler m...

The rain fell incessantly, mercilessly, without joy the way it falls in a place that has been inundated with more rains than it could handle for a week at a time. Sujata looked out on it with unseeing eyes. There was a time when the rains had never failed to fill her with awe and delight whatever her circumstances, it uplifted her thoughts, dreams and hopes to a higher realm. Now it just brought on a resigned sigh and an overwhelming desire to cry. Her fingers went on with the knitting in her hand as her mind wandered and the multi hued scarf she was making wove on almost like on autopilot. Her hands had started shaking some years ago and she had taken up knitting with a vengeance it hid the fact of the shivering hands and also gave her some satisfaction to be able to create something in her otherwise barren life. She saw the sentry running out under the torrent to open the gates and they creaked open reluctantly. She always found it funny-sad that the same gates looked like tho...

The gate looked imposing, she gathered up her frayed energies yet again and taking a deep breath knocked. She had become quite good at this repeated gathering of energies and their slow dissemination into thin air as she met the umpteenth dance director or troupe manager for a chance to be hired. Inside the gate she could hear a dog barking and someone admonishing it in a hushed voice to keep quite and not disturb the recitals. Inspite of herself she couldn’t help but smile as she remembered Ramprasad who would be waiting patiently for her to return. He would jump up and smother her with wet licks the moment she opened the door. She had surprised herself by taking a liking to the mongrel not that she had much choice it had followed her resolutely on her journey to a new world and once when she had hitched a ride on a tempo had run alongside till the driver had stopped and picked it up. With a reproachful look Ramprasad had sat down panting close to Sujata’s feet, dripping saliva all...

Mohan Lal, was one name that never failed to raise fear in Sujata’s heart. He was talking loudly, in that all-important voice he used whenever he was speaking on his newly acquired second hand mobile phone. He was walking towards where she stood, any moment he would be upon her, she looked around frantically and ducked behind the open kitchen door to escape notice. As she squinted through the small gap between the roughly hewn boards of the door he walked into the courtyard, not finding anyone looked around with a frown and then roughly shook the charpoy on which the old woman was sleeping. ‘Where is Sujata?’ he asked as she tried to understand what had happened. She finally realised and cursed him roundly refusing to answer his question. He wasn’t to be dissuaded and kept repeating his question, his voice rising threateningly each time. Finally the old woman gave up and turning her back to him grunted, ‘if you can’t handle your woman and she runs loose am I to blame? Don’t k...

Sujata stood with one feet in the air and hesitated, where she placed it would change the fabric of her life forever. As she stood in front of her ancestral home and looked up at the fading, peeling paints of the first floor window, childhood memories of calling out to the balloon wala and friends came flooding back. Where and how did those days go? But it would not do to reminisce about the past, a decision had to be taken and taken now. She must once and for all decide whether she could endure the drudgery of her obscure life or would she stand up and have herself counted amongst those who fought to make something out of their lives. The anxiety of having to decide had brought on a fine line of perspiration on her forehead and she absent-mindedly wiped at it with the end of her sari. Her long hair held by a hastily put clip was loose and she plucked at it as she weighed the oft-weighed options in her mind yet again. What could she do? She had saved up some money from her mea...