A very hectic day at work. Crap from a client you have serviced diligently for a year. Going nowhere discussions with new clients. Late nights at work and a screwed family life. A mom whose hobby is to keep falling down and hurt herself.
Where do you find happiness and a little peace?
I for one fake it.
Does that startle you? Let me explain.
When times are bad and I have already done what is possible and its time to leave things to higher ups (whether boss or God) I simply choose to pull my mind away from the sadness of it all and act as if everything is fine. Behave as if I am doing well and am so excited to be alive, when the reality is that – life sucks.
So I speak in a jovial manner. I plan outings with friends. I get on to facebook or orkut and drop messages for various people. I surf the internet and try to find out interesting tidbits about things that interest me. I also plan dates, drag people to watch feel-good movies or have dinner at a nice place, all in an attempt to look happy
…..so you see I fake it all.
Initially this takes a lot of effort – to raise oneself from the depths of misery to flights of fantasy is difficult. But when I see the environment change influenced by my smile or chatter or excitement it becomes easier to carry on faking.
Colleagues, family, and friends everyone finds it easier to relate to a cheerful face than a grumpy one. They too momentarily forget their own private problems and join in this farce. And if I am able to carry it on for a reasonably long period I am actually able to figure out solutions to the hitherto impasse situations that had caused my unhappiness in the first place.
What do the psychiatrists call this phenomena I have no idea. Do they even call it something, I am not sure. But the fact remains that my happy mind is better able to cope with stress and difficult situations than my grumpy, down in the dumps mind.
But it would be unfair if I took the credit for all this alone. Those around me who get pulled into the farce and go along play a large part in ensuring its success. They also need to be seekers of happiness like me and be willing to go that extra bit looking for it.
However if they are the kinds who are close to clinically being termed pessimist they ensure that their attitude rubs of on me too. They refuse to look at the bright side of anything. They feel that the light at the end of the tunnel should be switched off (after all its reccesion time and we should conserve energy) and we should all trudge on through life cursing all around us.
Thats when they make me feel like dying cause – life sucks.
Comments
I for one, try as i might, can't fake it. My face betrays me all the time! EVERYBODY knows when i'm down in the dumps. But yeah...i make sure i surround myself with positive people, chocolates and old romantic movies/books during 'those times'. I eventually bounce back, but still...can't fake it.
and for pessimists ,..avoid them like plague ...:-)
I know about a dozen and half people who call her 'Ma' drop in at odd hours expect to be fed, listened to and lectured at.
As for your being unable to fake it...i already know it.
Sindhu,
:) all in the same boat.
Preeti u and me are so alike...mom se puch na parega....mele mein gayi thi kya?
Burke: "There's this parish priest and he goes before the Pope weeping and begging for forgiveness. Holy father, holy father, what am I to do? Oh what am I to do, I do not believe in God anymore and you know what the pope said... fake it. That's it, I couldn't fake it anymore."
As for me, yes, I do fake it as well at times. It is as essential as breathing sometimes. Sounds rather hard to believe, but it is true.
as for pessimists... they have a way of dragging u down with them. so when u're low... just avoid them if u can.
and take care, gurl! :)
I have been reading u for a while i guess now.. though I dont comment and you dont post regularly...
but you sometimes churn out uncomfortable things... force to think thought we try to otherwise avoid...
In a way when I read somehow there also is this solace that there are others too...
yea at times life really sucks !
Latin Sardar - u amaze me...so much insight in a boy so young is not common.
Loved ur dialogue with God. Keep them going.
Balvinderji - u couldn't be otherwise. :)
Nimmy - am nodding in agreement and smiling a bitter smile.
Rayshma - thanks....am trying to.
Knife - could you expand slightly on that theory?
You are a blessing to have. GO on faking it if you call it faking. but that is how life is, counting your blessings out of the nasty things that days throw at you.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde never works.
We live once, so it's good to find reasons to be happy the way you seem to be doing :) I really believe in silver linings :)
of its own kind... I am sure your mom sees the same in you each and everyday! I hope and pray that you feel happy.
best
brotherly
anser azim
mostly I choose to ignore them and carry on.