Progression
Girl meets boy. Likes him for what he is, his smartness, his foolishness, his awkwardness, and his cuteness and promptly falls in love.Boy meets girl. Likes her good looks, the way she carried herself, the perfectionist mind and attitude, her knowledge and even her pretensions at times, finds it all so very adorable and promptly falls in love.
Boy and girl profess undying devotion, love and tenderness.
Then they get married.
The guy’s smartness starts to rankle when the wisecracks get targeted at her.
The girl’s good looks are a matter which sees money drain into Beauty parlours.
The guy’s foolishness tastes dour when it means overlooking the obvious.
The girl’s poise is cause to lose repose.
The guy’s awkward comments aimed at her family or even friends are difficult to swallow
The perfectionist mind is now settled on dusting cobwebs
There are children to be look aftered, clothes to be darned, utensils to be washed and food going bad in the fridge.
The dream turns into a nightmare neither can escape.
Sadly most marriages turn out this way, cause people go in with their eyes closed, dreaming dreams of bliss. The truth is, a marriage especially a good one is a lot of hard work. Do get into it with long term commitment and the willingness to adjust, sacrifice and understand.
Am writing this for all those beautiful couples who are heading towards disaster across the country right now.
You think I am being pessimistic? Surveys report that 2 out of every 5 marriages in Mumbai are ending in divorce.
found the picture on google, somehow looked very appropriate especially with its connotation of the original sin :)
Comments
you are right that it is a relationship that demands hard work and a lot of commitment.
Wish all the newly weds a lovely and happy married life.
Everyone has merits and demerits.
Before marriage, for obvious reasons, one brings out and the other notices only merits.
After marriage, the two lives live together not only with merits but also with demerits.
That's the time when the two people need to be flexible; about their likes and dislikes.
If they adjust they survive, if they don't the dream turns into a nightmare.
Unfortunately one's ego doesn't let him/her adjust. You are not pessimistic.
People rush into this institution of marriage based on parameters which depreciates as age catches on like Beauty, Intelligence, etc.
But of course, you are right, we always need tolerance and a willingness to make a relationship work...
Keshi.
We tend to accept *only* colorful things/faces of life & Forget to seek happiness in little achievements. Anything and everything that could make us happy *needs* to be:
1. something special
2. something noticeable to the society
3. something that sounds like a killer-deal.
The idea of 'today is a beautiful day' i.e. liking simplicity is fading out.
I am not sure if we share similar thoughts on this. Though, would like to know your take.
-Ankur
I love the pic. I wouldn't have guessed the hidden connotation. Thanks for leading me there. ;-)
Soulbrush...thanks for your visit...looking forward to seeing you here regularly
Akshaya...yes what i am saying is staying single is not such a big evil as going into a marriage with eyes closed and then ruining your own life and not to mention those around you as well.
Mampi...I knew u would agree on this one :)
Unfortunately one's ego doesn't let him/her adjust." completely agree there. Its all about caring and wanting to adjust otherwise....hell is a better place
IHM ....a larger number of divorces do signify that inspite of education, jobs etc...people still take this decision the way it was taken years ago with the result that they then want to walk out of it immediately. Often without even giving it a good try cause they are brought up on tales of fairy tale endings.
Ankur...agree with you we judge most things by the parameters of society and often feel cheated if our spouse lets us down infront of the so called society. Which is in anycase always quick to point fingers.
Trevor...those couples make me feel warm inside too...but i cant keep myself from wondering what all tempests they must have been through... :)
adjusting and knowing how to manage is a must in any relationship not just the hub-wife
Invincible - completely agree that adjustment is key to almost all relations...however Marriage takes center stage because our dreams around that subject are the biggest and closest to our hearts...
Marriage is all about sharing and being together.. its not about finding the perfect person for you.. its all about enjoying the companionship of that imperfect person in the perfect manner..
Why just marriage, any relationship be it siblings, friends etc for that matter needs hard work..
I agree all relations need hard work to be maintained. But the heartbreak of a fouled marriage not to mention the stigma associated is hard to bear and better avoided through some preventive methods. Wont you agree?
army unifom makes ur guy stand out but then when he does not call or is away most of the time...then that causes problems... just can say what i have experienced...
anyway... no pessimistic thing here... i guess it is true after all....just that most of the pople deny or sumthing..
Interesting blog... and I couldn't agree more on this one!
You guys are doing a great job and defending our integrity...but somewhere the family life takes backstage and partners who walk into marriage with an uniformed man are taken aback and then not willing to coperate.
Hey Sabita...thanks for your visit.
Do come again.
Soon after my marriage I had asked my husband that we open a joint account and he flatly refused. That left me with a bitter taste and since then I was never able to think of things as ours. It was always his or mine.
And if 2 out of 5 are heading for a divorce (though is this figure true -then its scary), how many of the other 3 are together if only for the interia, financial dependence, or just reasons of desperate hope?
And I read recently (I think Vikram Bhatt) that we love someone and after some years we say, you are not the person I married. But, thats really the point. People change, they have to. Because everyday we go thru experiences, thoughts, etc that makes us different from what we were yesterday.
And the essence of a successful relationship is about changing along with your partner - and the best relationships work out because the partners adjusted along the way to each other, not because they remained what they were at the beginning.
Nice post.
I completely agree with you people change and then we feel betrayed cause they dont seem to resemble the person we had fallen for...but what we conveiniently ignore is the fact that we too have changed in our own way.
I think one way to get out of this situation is to share pastimes and interests and not go off on our own tangents once the initial euphoria of being together reduces.
the memory of those long waits for months for those long awaited Eid cards!
I do not know but yeh ajeeb kism ka zaher hai aur iska derd bhi kuch ajeeb hai.... isko aik shakal dena bahut mushkil kaam hai... and this has changed too in the last fifty years and it will be hard to find this kind of love in this age.. sahyed yeh waqt kai saath saath zaher ka badalta hua roop hai..