Dreams
I dream of things past, things that are yet to happen. Even things that can never happen like my father speaking to grown up me since he died when I had just turned sixteen.
My dreams are vivid, life like at times more real than my real life.
I cry, laugh and get angry in my dreams. I make friends, seduce people, fight, quarrel and makeup. At times I find I am swimming, though in real life I don’t know how to, it doesn’t seem to frighten me.
Of late my dreams have been very disturbing; I have been part of activities which have made me feel ashamed of myself, even guilty of crimes unknown. I have seen myself trying to sexually please people with whom I don’t have a sexual relation.
I have a feeling that I am trying to undo a wrong, pay a penalty perhaps.
I don’t want to feel this way. I think I know what is happening, the subconscious part of me which wants to go back to being the ‘good girl’ of everyone’s aspiration is hitting out in the only realm it can. That of my dreams for in my awakened state I tell that voice its stupid and I have every right to live my life the way I wish.
But its difficult to stop it from squirming into my dreams, I try to think positive thoughts, read books, pray before I sleep, to no avail it creeps in through the chinks.
I guess the wish to be approved of by society is latent in all of us, even when we know that society’s rules are sick and medieval our conditioning is such that we would like to believe that the society at large looks at us as acceptable.
My dreams are vivid, life like at times more real than my real life.
I cry, laugh and get angry in my dreams. I make friends, seduce people, fight, quarrel and makeup. At times I find I am swimming, though in real life I don’t know how to, it doesn’t seem to frighten me.
Of late my dreams have been very disturbing; I have been part of activities which have made me feel ashamed of myself, even guilty of crimes unknown. I have seen myself trying to sexually please people with whom I don’t have a sexual relation.
I have a feeling that I am trying to undo a wrong, pay a penalty perhaps.
I don’t want to feel this way. I think I know what is happening, the subconscious part of me which wants to go back to being the ‘good girl’ of everyone’s aspiration is hitting out in the only realm it can. That of my dreams for in my awakened state I tell that voice its stupid and I have every right to live my life the way I wish.
But its difficult to stop it from squirming into my dreams, I try to think positive thoughts, read books, pray before I sleep, to no avail it creeps in through the chinks.
I guess the wish to be approved of by society is latent in all of us, even when we know that society’s rules are sick and medieval our conditioning is such that we would like to believe that the society at large looks at us as acceptable.
Comments
swadha
I read your post with earnest, I believe that dreams have a undertone that is somehow related to your real life, mostly past (in my case). But the situations, actions depicted in dreams may not match. I used to get dreams mostly good but some real vicious. and still do sometimes, although the circumstances that may have led to it are quite different in my case. to me it seems like, there is a void waiting to be filled. it natural. anyway, thanks for sharing, i hope to be visiting this blog often.
i like this post...i can't comment right now cuz i'm going to sleep...i will comment tomorrow...promise
another blog posting on dreams..there has to be a them going on here...
i strongly believe that our dreams are our subconscious speaking to us....
when we are sleep, there is nothing to distract us...even ourselves....when we are awake our politeness, our reserve, our minds limit what we can do and feel....
we have so much going on during our awake times that we go on autopilot and forget what is going on inside
to be ashamed of your dreams..hmmm
i'm not sure if you can be ashamed of your dreams because it reflects who you are...i've had dreams where when i woke up i shuttered at the thought that i was anything like the dreams..
but you also have to realize that dreams are often incoherent.... sometimes its a bunch of random things that are put together...and i don't think them coming together means anything significant....
don't be ashamed of your dreams...analyze them but don't go to deeply because dreams are something we will never understand...not even all of those books on dreams can tell you anything meaningful....
indulge in your dreams, in private, in your thoughts, learn from them, forget about them...
be happy and content with who you know you are as a person...
:)