I Fake It. Do you?

A very hectic day at work. Crap from a client you have serviced diligently for a year. Going nowhere discussions with new clients. Late nights at work and a screwed family life. A mom whose hobby is to keep falling down and hurt herself.

Where do you find happiness and a little peace?

I for one fake it.

Does that startle you? Let me explain.

When times are bad and I have already done what is possible and its time to leave things to higher ups (whether boss or God) I simply choose to pull my mind away from the sadness of it all and act as if everything is fine. Behave as if I am doing well and am so excited to be alive, when the reality is that – life sucks.

So I speak in a jovial manner. I plan outings with friends. I get on to facebook or orkut and drop messages for various people. I surf the internet and try to find out interesting tidbits about things that interest me. I also plan dates, drag people to watch feel-good movies or have dinner at a nice place, all in an attempt to look happy

…..so you see I fake it all.

Initially this takes a lot of effort – to raise oneself from the depths of misery to flights of fantasy is difficult. But when I see the environment change influenced by my smile or chatter or excitement it becomes easier to carry on faking.

Colleagues, family, and friends everyone finds it easier to relate to a cheerful face than a grumpy one. They too momentarily forget their own private problems and join in this farce. And if I am able to carry it on for a reasonably long period I am actually able to figure out solutions to the hitherto impasse situations that had caused my unhappiness in the first place.

What do the psychiatrists call this phenomena I have no idea. Do they even call it something, I am not sure. But the fact remains that my happy mind is better able to cope with stress and difficult situations than my grumpy, down in the dumps mind.

But it would be unfair if I took the credit for all this alone. Those around me who get pulled into the farce and go along play a large part in ensuring its success. They also need to be seekers of happiness like me and be willing to go that extra bit looking for it.

However if they are the kinds who are close to clinically being termed pessimist they ensure that their attitude rubs of on me too. They refuse to look at the bright side of anything. They feel that the light at the end of the tunnel should be switched off (after all its reccesion time and we should conserve energy) and we should all trudge on through life cursing all around us.

Thats when they make me feel like dying cause – life sucks.

Comments

mixdbrew said…
I know i shouldn't be smiling at this...but...'A mom whose hobby is to keep falling down and hurt herself?' (Really?!? I'm intrigued!!).

I for one, try as i might, can't fake it. My face betrays me all the time! EVERYBODY knows when i'm down in the dumps. But yeah...i make sure i surround myself with positive people, chocolates and old romantic movies/books during 'those times'. I eventually bounce back, but still...can't fake it.
sindhu said…
hey, it is the same for everyone...we all put up a farce, keep on going and try and smile when life truly sucks...After a while you get so engrossed in ur lie you forget the reality and accept life as it is...Well, that is for me...
Preeti said…
yes !! i do that too ...most of the time ..when things re wrong and I feel like hell ..i took out my best dress , look good n smile more than required ...

and for pessimists ,..avoid them like plague ...:-)
Shafi said…
Your 'faking' and my 'pretending' ... is just one other the same. Dont u think so? :)
Pinku said…
Mixed brew...dont be intrigued...come down, meet my mom....and know what it means in full measure. She is an institution in herself.

I know about a dozen and half people who call her 'Ma' drop in at odd hours expect to be fed, listened to and lectured at.

As for your being unable to fake it...i already know it.

Sindhu,
:) all in the same boat.

Preeti u and me are so alike...mom se puch na parega....mele mein gayi thi kya?
Whenever someone talks about "faking it", I'm reminded of Al Pacino and his lines in the movie The Recruit with Colin Farrell. Pacino's character Walter Burke is chasing him down when Farrell's character James Clayton asks him why he betrayed his country. And then comes this gem of a piece by Pacino that his fans would never want to forget.

Burke: "There's this parish priest and he goes before the Pope weeping and begging for forgiveness. Holy father, holy father, what am I to do? Oh what am I to do, I do not believe in God anymore and you know what the pope said... fake it. That's it, I couldn't fake it anymore."

As for me, yes, I do fake it as well at times. It is as essential as breathing sometimes. Sounds rather hard to believe, but it is true.
Balvinder Balli said…
My face is like that monitor screen which shows whatever runs inside the processor. I just can't fake either happiness or sadness.
Anonymous said…
Yeah...even I too fake it at times..I feel very sad when even the dearest one in my life doesn't realize that I am acting...
rayshma said…
yeah.. i do that too. and it does help! :)
as for pessimists... they have a way of dragging u down with them. so when u're low... just avoid them if u can.

and take care, gurl! :)
Kalyan Karmakar said…
brevity is the secret to harmony
Anonymous said…
Guess I fake it too...

I have been reading u for a while i guess now.. though I dont comment and you dont post regularly...

but you sometimes churn out uncomfortable things... force to think thought we try to otherwise avoid...

In a way when I read somehow there also is this solace that there are others too...

yea at times life really sucks !
Pinku said…
Shafi....faking and pretending could be the same given the context. Am not really sure.

Latin Sardar - u amaze me...so much insight in a boy so young is not common.
Loved ur dialogue with God. Keep them going.

Balvinderji - u couldn't be otherwise. :)

Nimmy - am nodding in agreement and smiling a bitter smile.

Rayshma - thanks....am trying to.

Knife - could you expand slightly on that theory?
Anonymous said…
I do it too. Sometimes it works. Often, it doesn't. :|
Iya said…
u call it faking, i call it optimism.
Mampi said…
You are a darling and your optimism, enthusiasm and happiness has rubbed off in a major way on me too-at many occasions.
You are a blessing to have. GO on faking it if you call it faking. but that is how life is, counting your blessings out of the nasty things that days throw at you.
nsiyer said…
I simply do not agree. One needs to be authentic and not give reasons / justifications. The problem , as I see, is not to deal with the uncomfortable zone. Life will suck always if one adopts this attitude.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde never works.
Anonymous said…
Pinku I agree with your approach! Like Iya I too I would call this optimism, I live by it and I believe if we really intend to be happy it is very difficult to be really sad for long.
We live once, so it's good to find reasons to be happy the way you seem to be doing :) I really believe in silver linings :)
Anser Azim said…
Pinku: This year the winter was very long and ugly here in Chicago. Very long depressing days and it was all snow and very few sunny days. I planted five different kinds of tomatoes in my back yard in May immediately after the first 22 C day. And today we plucked the first ten ripe tomatoes with my younger son, who turned four on 29th June. The joy wiped away all the harsh memories of the long winter. God has created so many things around us where we can discover joy and happiness..Seeing a child or a plant grow brings lots of happiness and its not monotonous at all but new everyday and
of its own kind... I am sure your mom sees the same in you each and everyday! I hope and pray that you feel happy.
best
brotherly

anser azim
Sahil Banga said…
exactly my behavior - when under pressure, i dont work. not that i run away. but i take it easy. because everything is gonna get sorted out, one has to just keep patience and look into the matters one by one.
Anonymous said…
at least somethings sucks in your life...
Pinku said…
anonymous....wish u knew me better...u would know a lot many things suck in my life...

mostly I choose to ignore them and carry on.

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