Of despair and disillusion...
I finished reading a book called Rani by Jaishree Mishra today. It was based on the life of Rani Lakshmi Bai of Jhansi...a figure of courage and strength for me from as back as I can remember. I had always been bad at Hindi as a subject and had special difficulty in understanding and grasping poetry in the language. However in class IV when the really long Har bolo ke muh humne sunni kahani thi ...poem became a part of the curriculum I had no difficulty in memorizing the whole thing by heart. I still get goose bumps when I hear it read out. I had never doubted the Rani's bravery and courage and had set out to read her story convinced that I would read about a person who was so strong that I could only gather strength from the book. But having finished the book I am left in a state of despair. For the author entered her heart and mind and showed up the doubts and fears. Showed up Laxmi Bai's desire to have the simple things of life ...time with her child and husband, a fe