Threshold...The Calling

Sujata stood with one feet in the air and hesitated, where she placed it would change the fabric of her life forever. As she stood in front of her ancestral home and looked up at the fading, peeling paints of the first floor window, childhood memories of calling out to the balloon wala and friends came flooding back. Where and how did those days go?

But it would not do to reminisce about the past, a decision had to be taken and taken now. She must once and for all decide whether she could endure the drudgery of her obscure life or would she stand up and have herself counted amongst those who fought to make something out of their lives.

The anxiety of having to decide had brought on a fine line of perspiration on her forehead and she absent-mindedly wiped at it with the end of her sari. Her long hair held by a hastily put clip was loose and she plucked at it as she weighed the oft-weighed options in her mind yet again.

What could she do? She had saved up some money from her meager earnings as a dance tutor but that would hardly count for much. She had the names and details of some people in the Bombay film industry that she had cut out or copied from the second hand magazines she flipped through at the neighboring raddiwalas stall. She had heard from her aunt that one of her distant cousins had gone to Bombay and had through sheer hardwork made it big, maybe she could meet her and ask for guidance.

A sudden noise disturbed her musings and she looked up startled to see a small dog come rushing down the street and some street children running after it. The dog almost collided with her and started whimpering. The children stopped at a distance to see if they would be scolded or allowed to go on with their sport.

Sujata bend down and picked up the dog in her arms all the while glaring hard at the kids. The kids shuffled around a bit and then went back the way they had come. She decided to walk some distance before letting the pup go so that the children whose stifled voices she could hear around the corner would not harass it again once she was not there to protect it.

The pup meanwhile had got over the fright of a few minutes ago and to show his gratitude licked her arm and hand well covering it with saliva. She as a rule didn’t like animals, they were messy and however well trained still unpredictable but the pup’s evident adoration towards his benefactress melted her heart. Pondering over where she could safely put him down she came upon the railway tracks that ran behind the houses. They had always fascinated her, two lines of steel shimmering in the far distance speaking to her about destinations unexplored, glory unattained.

She walked on for some distance just to make sure the children were not following her and thats when she saw it the milestone for Mumbai and it hit her like a bolt that all she had to do was keep walking along the tracks and they would guide her to the dream city. She didn’t have to do a thing, she didn’t have to ask a soul all that was required of her was to walk. And she could surely do that, didn’t she walk the twelve kilometers to school and back everyday?

She put down the pup and gathered up her sari to walk back home. Hitching up her sari to knee level she walked fast, her rapidly forming thoughts almost making her fly over the sharp edged stones on the sides of the tracks. She had to reach home before the rest of the family came back from work and play. For some reason it was important to her that she start on her journey this very moment. As if the rails which had been there forever were threatening to get up and leave if she didn’t decide to come along right then.

Ticking of a mental list of her must-carry valuables from her meager belongings she suddenly heard a little yelp and turned back to find the little pup rolling down the side of the tracks. She frowned, it seemed the pup was on purpose disrupting her plans. The pup in the meantime having come to a stop was looking up with the most doleful eyes at her almost reproaching her for walking too fast without a thought about his size and speed. She couldn’t help smiling and picking it up.

‘Naughty are you Ramprasad?’ she asked and laughed at the impromptu name giving. The dog wagged his tail and licked her face to show his appreciation. And then as if to remind her of her plans jumped down from her arms and started running towards her home as if completely aware of her destination and purpose.

She walked into the house on tiptoe and rushed to her corner behind the broken almirah in the kitchen where she kept her money stashed away behind a loose brick in the wall. She took out the brick and found the dirty red handkerchief in which her entire savings adding upto a couple of thousand was wrapped. She emerged back into the courtyard now all she needed to pick up was her clothes and she would be ready to begin on the journey to her new life.

Walking past the charpoy on which her grandmother was sleeping she felt a twinge of conscience, the old woman was irritating with her constant nagging but then she was the only one who had resolutely stood between starvation and the children when they were young. She bowed her head and said a quick prayer asking that the old woman not take her decision to leave to heart and be around when she would return triumphant one day to take them all to a new life.

As if answering her silent prayers the old woman turned and muttered ‘Ram! Ram!’ Sujata took that as a blessing and turned to go towards her room to pick up her clothes, a sudden voice stopped her in her tracks.

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